• Anon White Belt

Why #everydayporrada isn't helping your waistline! (Anonymous White Belt Article #4)

DISCLAIMER FROM THE BJJ REPORT EDITOR !!!! Disclaimer: 'the articles presented are not necessarily a reflection of the views and values of the owners of BJJ Report'

“Yeah man, competition class was tough! Let’s get some burritos and acai. OSS!” - This is the battle cry of those that can’t seem to tap out their greatest opponent, their waistline.


A lot of people, myself included, joined Jiu Jitsu for the promise of getting jacked and juicy like our heroes Galvao and Gordon. I mean, just look at them, they boast very SHREDDED physiques. With how they are positioned at the top of our sport, it’s easy to think that if we got our Jiu Jitsu skills to half of what they have, we too should shrink our waistlines and maybe even see the faint outline of our abs. Sadly, the truth is, abs are made in the kitchen, not on the mats.


As much as you colored belts give spazzy white belts, myself included, grief for flailing around helplessly during free training, we white belts are working harder each round than most of you upper belts. Think about it, the better your Jiu Jitsu is, the less work you have to do because your takedowns, sweeps and submissions are more energy efficient. If running a mile burns 100 calories, how much are you really burning by lazily sitting in bottom deep half guard or plopping your full bodyweight down in chest-to-chest top side control? (yes, I am talking to you, lazy heavyweight top players).



That being said, it is very hard to truly ‘earn’ the food we eat, “Hey bro, we trained hard today!! Let’s grab a pizza...we deserve it!”” NO NO AND NO!!!! we must do better off the mats.


Jiu Jitsu may be a decent way to have fun and burn calories, but the ultimate weight-loss technique requires zero Jiu Jitsu. The technique is called, ‘Put the goddamn fork down.’ Shocking revelations here, I know. With 24 hours in the day, we can’t expect the 1 or 2 hours we spend in the academy (if at all) to overwrite the other 23 hours of poor eating habits. If we’re diligent in our Jiu Jitsu studies, we have to be just as diligent regarding the food we eat. Next time you go out for post-gym acai, order the small bowl instead of the XXXL size. Oss.


Yours Truly,

Anonymous White Belt


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