Training BJJ at the same academy with your Significant other? Good or Bad?
As proud followers of the Porrada lifestyle and all it brings, should we look to rope our significant others into BJJ? After all, Jiu Jitsu has many benefits ranging from fitness to self defense that it would almost be a disservice not to bring your boy/girlfriend onto the mats, right?
The question we should ask ourselves is if we train with our significant other and we break up, who stays at the academy and who leaves? Right? It's kind of like a marriage and divorce. You have the same friends, same hangouts, same events. Who is gonna be your BJJ divorce attorney if you and your significant other break up and you train at the same academy? I have no idea to be honest.
What if you're a high ranking member of the school and your significant other is a white belt? Or the opposite, what if she is the high ranking member and you just got started (except for the fact your a 3 time golden gloves state national wrestling champ point fighter with certificate in groin punching and foot stomping...but no ground game whatsoever)
As much fun as it sounds to bring your significant other to the mats, sometimes it can be healthier to have something for yourself. Think about all the times you participated in something your significant other loved but in reality wasn't your cup of tea. . Think long, boring shopping sprees or bad movies you’ve had to sit through. From their perspective you’re doing the same thing, except this time there’s violence involved. And not all the people we share our hearts with want to learn to break arms, blow out knees or crush windpipes….wait...wait...did i just make a joke about how that was a crank not a choke???? Ok you get the point…
Imagine having a heated argument with your significant other an hour before class. You’re both pissed at each other, and now you’re introducing simulated murder into the mix? That sounds like a recipe for disaster. If your significant other didn’t train, you both could’ve used this as an opportunity to reflect before coming back to settle your differences in a calm manner. Sometimes a degree of healthy separation is needed for relationships to flourish.
On the other hand, sharing this journey with someone can be something beautiful. It is a long, hard road, but it can be much easier with someone else at your side. Having someone with you in the thick of it all can be the difference between you stopping your journey or pushing through. Still, if you have a good life partner, they don’t need to be on the mats to support you off the mats.
What do y’all think? Do your significant others train?!
Truly Yours, Anonymous White Belt